She is a very good girl, and is mature for her age (17). However it was not very easy to live with non-family person for a long period. At least for me, it was quite difficult.
I guess Japanese has more distinct division between private and public, generally to say. I want to keep my space private, and don't want anybody else to disturb the space. I want to cook whenever I want to cook without clearing up somebody's mess or telling somebody to make a space for me to cook. I want to work whenever I need to without being annoyed by stranger's presence. The home should be a private space for me.
I found that Westerners often don't mind much to share individual stuff with somebody else, which Japanese care much more. For example, using my kitchen with her friends without asking me, or looking for some stationary at my office, where there are lots of private documents, without any permission.
I think Japanese tend to care too much NOT to disturb other people, that gives us some kind of tension in our relationship. The Westerners' way is more easy and is good to keep easy relationship unless one of them go beyond the limit.
But I guess my limit is a bit stricter than Westerners'. My boarding girl jumped over the limit quite often...
I don't think Japanese way of relating people is better than Westerners, at the same time the other way around can not be said to be better. I just think keeping the balance between different individuals from different culture is important, and that is a key for the good relationship.
The conclusion in me was that I DON'T WANT TO HAVE THAT KIND OF TROUBLE AT HOME.
I want to keep my home as a space where I can freely breath, and I don't want to worry about my privacy at home.
Actually having a boarder from abroad was an interesting experience.
But...no more boarders.
I just want to express my feeling how happy to have gotten my place back to my family.
I feel like I can relax now for the first time after she joined us.
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5 comments:
I also have housemates, but I think I've gotten quite used to it. Them being one of the closest friends probably helped a lot, too.
Though, I agree, it disturbed me a lot when my housemates' friend just went into my room to grab a pen without telling me. My door was closed, too :S
Hello,Linnie,
when I had a housemate in California, it was a different story. Of course there were some occasions that disturbed me just like your experience.
But I now realized how difficult to have a teenage boarder at home where a FAMILY lives....
Hi, chamokayo,
You must have been very tired and got a lot of stress even though you didn't notice that.
I know what you mean. We want to keep our private space exclusive.
I'm afraid you have spoiled that girl. Maybe you should have made some rules beforehand.
Now you seem very tired and you say no more boarders. However, as time passes, you might think that again.
Anyway take a rest! You've earned it!
Take care!
Hello, Honesty,
yes, I think I spoiled her.
But it is not easy to make a rule before I know who/how she is. Everybody is different, therefore I shold change the rule depends on her attitudes/lifestyle/age/personality.
I was the person who had to tell her off all the time, that made me exhausted too.
Actually I had decided not to have a boarder any more, when the previous boarder left. As time passed, as you said, I thought about it again, and I had the girl this autumn. But I will never have a boarder again, I strongly made my mind this time. I can have grown-up guests, but not teenagers.
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