cherry blossoms

I found cherry flowers blooming on the school campus.






Today's highest temperature in this area was only 1°C. It is a bit too cold for cherry blossoms, isn't it?


This is a cherry tree which has bit sour cherries in early summer. It is not exactly cherry flowers from Japan, but this reminds me Japan. Also this is nice for new year, isn't it??


Another photo that shows Japanese tradition is here.




Tiny ORIGAMI crane, which is the most popular pattern of origami. I made this a few days ago using a wrapping paper.




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GP

We changed our GP (home doctor).
The previous GP was the bad choice we made. We registered with the clinic soon after we moved to England. We didn't know much about English health system, and of course had no clue about good doctors in town. Back then, we didn't own a car, that limited our choices. We just picked the nearest GP.

The GP was the busy one. I always had a hard time to talk to a person to make an appointment over the phone. They were always busy and overwhelmed, and they just don't answer the phone. After many attempts, finally I got an appointment, but you know what comes next... Long waiting time... What was the appointment for, if we had to wait to see a doctor so long??

After the long waiting time, we finally see a doctor. But the doctors were always businesslike, they didn't really see us or listen to us. The time they spend to figure out the diagnoses was only a few minutes...Maybe less than a minute. I am not exaggerating. We usually got out of the doctor's room within five minutes. I always felt I was talking to a machine, or computer..., something without human heart.

With such a poor consultation, of course they gave us incorrect diagnoses, with prescriptions which I could not agree with it.


So after my first son got an antibiotics which is harmful and unnecessary for his symptoms, I quickly changed the GP where we can see an anthloposophical doctor who can prescribe homeopathic remedies.


We got an appointment for my first son today, and all four of us attended the consultation. The doctor looked my son's ailments closely, and listened to us well, thought through what the best choice for the boy would be. It took almost thirty minutes. Our conversation was far better from ones with the previous GPs. It was actually the conversation between human being who care about the patients the most.

He gave us a prescription not only for my son but also for my husband who was still greatly suffering from his chest ailments, although it was not the consultation for my husband.


We got several homeopathic remedies and one antibiotic medicine in case it would be needed. My son took two kinds of Weleda remedies as the doctor instructed, and he slept through all afternoon. He woke up and ate his supper, soon after that he went back to sleep.

His unusual long sleep assured me that my son would be recovered from his illness soon.


Today I felt relieved after the doctor's consultation.
Actually it was the first good medical experience in England.




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no more flu

I want to cry.

I have been poorly since mid November. It is an infection that is around in this area. Many friends got this infection and have been suffering from it severely.

I am one of them.


Before the Christmas break began, my first son fell ill. He had temperature, not so high though, and the virus attacked his nose, sinus and ears. He got middle ear infection, and it caused bad nose bleeding when the ear infection was bad.


After my son was my husband. On the first day of the Christmas break, he fell ill. He spent three days in his bed without any strength to get up. Even after he regained physical strength to walk around in the house, he seemed to be very weak.

Then my first son's virus power was back. He wanted to stay in his bed, and was very weak, as he dripped yellowish liquid from his right ear, at the same time, sudden bleeding from his nose.


And today, my husband was back to bed. All day. His dry cough sounded very painful. He claimed he is enable to breath.

Since we share one bed, of course his virus keeps attacking me again and again. Today my infection seemed to have come back. Pains everywhere in my body, chillness, sore throat and cough.

I am better than my husband, so I am the person who takes care of boys and my husband, although I myself want to be looked after by somebody as well......



It is an awful cold.


I hope you don't catch this nasty virus.

Take good care of yourself.....




I go to bed now.

Good night...

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blogging

I have already been blogging for three years. I have some blogs which I update actively. One of them is called "Kayo in England" written in Japanese.

The reason I write is just my love for writing. As a tool of communication, blogs are such an easy and fast tool that helps to communicate with people all over the world. Also expressing my opinions and thoughts to people are important factor of blogging.



But recently I found myself getting bored writing on "Kayo in England." Since it is my main Japanese blog, majority of my Japanese friends visit there to know how I am doing and they make their comments, that allows us keeping in touch without much effort.

I think blog is better than exchanging emails in some way, because blog involves more than two people. It is not just two way communication, but other people can participate in the group conversation. Since the blog is one method to let my frineds know my recent life, I can update only once for each event. If it is a communication via emails, I have to write same thing so many times to let several friends know about the event...

Anyway, for that reason, I keep writing the Japanese blog every once in a while. However, I found much more interesting and fun to write a journal here in English. I think it is because writing English is more challenging for me. Also I can write more freely here than on "Kayo in England," because of the less connection with the readers. I don't have to think how my friends would feel about my thoughts that are shown on my blog.



The initial purpose of writing this blog was improving my English writing skill. At a certain level, I can say I have achieved the purpose, because I can now write English much more comfortably. Of course I have to make more effort to improve my English. The vocabularies I use are quite limited, and there are lots of mistakes on every post... XD



But certainly I am enjoying writing English here.
That is a big achievement, I must say.


Don't you think so???



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Christmas tradition

As a non-Christian, Christmas is one of the seasonal events for me. I appreciate the spirituality of Christmas, but I cannot truly understand its real meaning underlying Christianity as well as people grown up in Christian societies do. My understanding is my own way, far from pure religious understanding. Christianity doesn't live in myself.

Also my Christmas tradition is commercialized one without any religious thoughts, which I don' like. So I usually follow my husband's way of celebrating Christmas.

I can not say it is European or German style Christmas. I think it is his family tradition.

His parents being jewellery artists have the busiest time before Christmas, since their customers buy their works as Christmas presents. They have so much work to complete their works just before Christmas.

My mother-in-law usually works until noon on Christmas Eve, then her Christmas preparation finally starts in the afternoon.

She cooks salmon with horseradish cream for Christmas Eve dinner, which my husband and I follow her tradition.

For Christmas dinner, we are establishing our family tradition to cook "lamb in anchovy sauce", and we added Greek yogurt sauce to the menu this year.






My husband has a trauma from his childhood. Since her mother sold her works before Christmas, often her beautiful works were all gone by Christmas day. She makes such beautiful things, but her works are all for other people. She makes living from making jewellery, so it is wonderful that people buy her stuff. And it is a nature of being artist that they don't own their works. But it has made my husband so sad that not having the beautiful art works on the annual special day of Christmas.



This year, we sold several Christmas ornaments my husband made. We had our own ornaments, but we had to give them away because he fell ill before Christmas, that made him impossible to finish his work.

Now our Christmas tree is not as gorgeous as usual. They don't have red and white roses. They don't have Steiner's Christmas symbols.

Missing the ornaments reminded my husband the trauma from his childhood.





He was sad.



Christmas ornaments and other beautiful art works can wonderfully decorate our events. Of course they contains the spirit in them. But still they are just physical objects.

I want him to be happy even if he does not have the objects.
Being happy in the special day is more important than having material.


I understand his sadness, but probably not fully.



But I want to believe that Christmas is a time for everyone to be happy.




I dressed up for him, and reminded him how wonderful and happy family we are.
Our sons are beautiful, and he has a cute Japanese wife who loves him so much!! :D

He realized his happiness soon and smiled at us.




Love and peace for everyone!


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Merry Christmas!

The craziest days passed so quickly, and it is already a Christmas day today.
How fast time flies!!!


Merry Christmas to all of you in the world!
I wish you a happy Christmas and have a peaceful new year!

May the new year bring you a happiness and joy!




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potatoes

The Christmas break began, and my sons stay at home all day...
And my husband got ill on the first day of the break...
He has been in his bed for three days since then...


I have totally forgotten how the life with two boys all day long is. Before this September, I had two boys all day, every day. They both together started going to the school in September, then I got time for myself in the morning. It is only three and half hours free time, though the free morning has been precious for me.

During holidays I have to forget about my precious free morning, and look after two boys, and now one more (big) boy. XD

My sons need some activities that are creative and useful.
So I decided to cook with my sons today.




The picture is dark, but can you recognize this food?
This is called "daigaku imo" in Japanese, which can be translated to "university sweet potatoes." The sweet potatoes are common in England as well, but the Japanese sweet potatoes are rare. If you use ordinary English sweet potatoes for deep frying, they would be melted and lose their shapes. So I cook this "daigaku imo" or "sweet potato tempura" only when I could find this Japanese kind of sweet potatoes. It is nothing special for Japanese people in Japan, but is very special for me.

As I deep fried the sweet potatoes, I just thought of making potato crisps.

So I let my first son to slice the potatoes like this. ↓



Sorry, the picture is blurry, but it is not my fault. :D He was working so hard, and I couldn't find a moment when he stayed still. hahaha.


In the end of the cooking activity, we got a plate of "daigaku imo" and another full plate of "potato crisps."




These potato crisps didn't last even five minutes...


It is ok. My sons liked them so much.



...After the cooking, they had a fun with gardening as well.
It was nice and warm today.:D


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Space for family

Today the school's autumn term was over, and my boarding girl moved out. She is going to rent a room at a eurythmist's house in the same town after the Christmas break.

She is a very good girl, and is mature for her age (17). However it was not very easy to live with non-family person for a long period. At least for me, it was quite difficult.

I guess Japanese has more distinct division between private and public, generally to say. I want to keep my space private, and don't want anybody else to disturb the space. I want to cook whenever I want to cook without clearing up somebody's mess or telling somebody to make a space for me to cook. I want to work whenever I need to without being annoyed by stranger's presence. The home should be a private space for me.

I found that Westerners often don't mind much to share individual stuff with somebody else, which Japanese care much more. For example, using my kitchen with her friends without asking me, or looking for some stationary at my office, where there are lots of private documents, without any permission.

I think Japanese tend to care too much NOT to disturb other people, that gives us some kind of tension in our relationship. The Westerners' way is more easy and is good to keep easy relationship unless one of them go beyond the limit.

But I guess my limit is a bit stricter than Westerners'. My boarding girl jumped over the limit quite often...

I don't think Japanese way of relating people is better than Westerners, at the same time the other way around can not be said to be better. I just think keeping the balance between different individuals from different culture is important, and that is a key for the good relationship.

The conclusion in me was that I DON'T WANT TO HAVE THAT KIND OF TROUBLE AT HOME.
I want to keep my home as a space where I can freely breath, and I don't want to worry about my privacy at home.

Actually having a boarder from abroad was an interesting experience.
But...no more boarders.


I just want to express my feeling how happy to have gotten my place back to my family.
I feel like I can relax now for the first time after she joined us.


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Messiah

Yesterday we went to Hereford Cathedral to see Handel's Messiah. It was a performance by an orchestra, four solo singers, and choral group of 150 singers.

This was my first live "Messiah" experience.

The performance over 2 and 1/2 hours was brilliant. I really appreciate sacredity which they created in the cathedral. The experience of listening to it in cathedral was special. It was not neither CD, concert hall, nor ordinary church, but the cathedral in England, the country Handel lived. The power of the place (cathedral) with spirit and the music with soul in it was enormous. I felt I myself was cleansed by music and then a light was lit inside of me. The light is little now and it is in a darkness. However it will grow to be a big fire to generate a strong energy in near future.

I think it is a part of the meaning of Advent, and I actually felt it through the concert.


It would be great if we are going to have this as one of the family tradition of Advent and Christmas. Next year, maybe "Messiah" at Worcester Cathedral.



By the way, my sons pleased other audience with their behaviors.
The people around our seat praised them.
"You are such good boys with the best behavior. I am proud of you!"


Yes, we, as your parents, are proud of you, too!


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vegetable cutter

Recently one of the most popular goods among my boys is vegetable cutters. If you are a Japanese, I am sure you have seen a piece of carrot cut into flower shape. The cutters are smaller version of cookie cutters. I remember my mother used them when I was little, but she stopped using them at some point when I got too old to be pleased with that kind of decoration.

Now it is a time for me to use those cutters for my little sons.

I was sure that my mother still has those cutters somewhere in her kitchen. She is a person who can never throw things away even though she would never use them again.

So I asked my mother to send them to England so I can please my sons!



It was actually great idea. First, they were simply pleased to see the flowery shaped carrots. Then, of course, they tried to cut vegetables themselves. It took no time for them to learn the technique.

One morning, they made many flower carrots out of two whole carrots before breakfast, packed them in ziplocs and took them to the school.

The second son shared the flower carrots with his classmates. Both the class teacher and the classmates got one flower each and admired the pretty carrot.

The first son's flower carrots were cooked in the soup. Each child got one flower in his/her soup for snack.

They all pleased, and of course the admiration made my sons happy.


What an easy and successful project, it was!!



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Goodbye Tsugumi

I read a novel "Goodbye Tsugumi" by a Japanese author Banana Yoshimoto.
I have read the original Japanese "Tsugumi" soon after the book was first published in Japan.

I had a lot of fun by reading Banana Yoshimoto's novels at that time, but soon I got tired of her writing. I felt her writings were bit too girly, and they gave me an impression of "girl's comics." I was also not fond of her being bestseller author. I often don't like things that are too popular. I know ... I am a perverse person.


Why did I read her book again after twenty years of its publication? The answer is quite simple. I just wanted to read some Japanese novels in English. I guess it is one of my homesick phenomenons. I just wanted to feel something Japanese-like.

As I expected, the scene and its description were very familiar to me. Japanese society and its culture are big part of myself, and simply the pictures appear mentally one after another as I proceeded reading. The novel perfectly achieved its purpose and made me feel "Japanese".

I have not compared the English translation to Japanese original, but I guess the translation is quite faithful to the original. I can imagine Banana Yoshimoto's original writing from the English sentences at many parts of the story.

The fact this translation was done by a male translator amused me. For me, Banana Yoshimoto's novels were typical girlish stories based on female feelings. How could a male writer interpret its feeling??? Did the English language make it possible, because English doesn't express the genders by its language as much as Japanese language?

However it was well translated and it made me want to read each word carefully.
I think I enjoyed it more than Japanese original.



Let me introduce you a part of the book review;

"beautiful water-colour writing."

I have never seen a description as good as this. Her writing is exactly "water-colour"-like. The descritions beautifully float along a stream and are purely transparent.



I want to read other translations of Banana Yoshimoto's.


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transparent stars and...

Our annual event (?), one of the preparations for Christmas is making the transparent stars.

Using rectangular translucent papers, fold them to shape stars.

Like this ↓


The different number of layers make subtle shades over the stars.
Of course the two or three colours mix to make another colour.




And I went to the entrance to take another picture..., and what I found there is....




A rainbow!!



It was a huge rainbow!

We, myself and my sons, ran out of the house to look at the rainbow.



It was not just a huge rainbow, but double rainbows! Wow!!

Do you see the second rainbow over the first one?
It was already shading, so it may be hard to see it on the photo.


But it was a nice gift from nature!


I guess I have a great luck today!!


I wish you a luck, too♪


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gloves

It is cold recently.
But amazingly my body has gotten used to the cold weather quickly.

This morning I felt warm, so I went out without a coat. Just one jumper over a cotton top.

As I predicted, it was not cold at all unlike ordinary December.






The thermometer said the temperature was 3.5 ℃.

3.5℃ is not cold for me...
My sense of warmth must have gone bad..., thanks for English climate.




Anyway, it is just the beginning of real winter.
So I knitted two pair of gloves for my sons so that they wouldn't be cold outside.




While I was knitting, a Japanese song was repeatedly in my mind...

母さんが夜なべをして手袋編んでくれた♪
My mother stayed up nights knitting gloves♪


Also these gloves go with their matching hat and scarf.
Like this ↓




Aren't they cute??
The gloves are suspended from his neck, but they are not worn on the photo.
I put buttons for the scarf, so the boy wouldn't lose it so easily. People including the kindergarten teacher love this idea as well as myself.

hehehe...


By the way, when my sons say "gloves," the word sounds like "love" without "g" and "s." It is not correct, but hearing the word "love" for hand-knitted "gloves" is heart-warming as well. Actually the gloves are knitted with my LOVE for my beloved sons♪





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Main lesson book

In Steiner schools, pupils don't use textbooks. They create their own textbooks as a part of learning. It is a time consuming work, but it is worth to spend a lot of energy and time for making the books themselves.

The books contain not only academic contents but also artistic presentation. They use colours to decorate the pages, and illustrate the diagrams and pictures beautifully.

The more effort they put into the work, the more precious the book becomes.

As a Steiner school teacher, I loved creating my main lesson book. I am good at art, especially I loved to colour with Lyra colour pencils.

When I was in a school, I loved making my notebook, summarizing the contents from the textbooks, and making the book beautiful, although I was not in a Steiner school.

It is wonderful work to create a book like this. It helps to understand the contents better. On the other hand, I found that creating a book could not be enough study. After understanding the contents, and then students need to MEMORIZE/EXERCISE the contents. Memorizing is very important for exam preparations.


Now I quit the teaching job, and I myself is a learner now, preparing for the exams.

So... I have been trying not to spend too much time for creating a notebook, to study more effectively. If I spend too much time for it, I would not have enough energy for memorizing.





But recently I found myself not enjoying the study. Just reading the textbook, understanding the contents and memorizing the terms are not very fun. I felt my understanding becomes shallower when I just read it.

So I started making my main lesson book... of course I am trying not to make too perfect book, so I can still have enough energy/time for memorizing.


Yeah..., it is actually FUN to make a book!


The exams in England has more questions that require written explanations. So it is a key to be able to describe and explain the scientific matter in ENGLISH in a short period of time.

For that reason, making my own book is helping me to improve my English writing.



I think it is a great way of learning English.
Reading something you like, take a note and summarize it in English.
You would need better understanding than just reading English to express it in English.

We learnt our native language like that when we were at school, didn't we?



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throat infection

I've got an throat infection for over two weeks.
I think this is just a cold, but it has already been ten days since I lost my voice.

I don't like taking antibiotics, and I normally take only natural remedies, herbs, and homeopathic remedies for the ailments.

This time, the symptom is worse than usual. One of my friends sent a cough remedy recipe to me. That was given to her by her INDIAN friend. It seems to be an Indian traditional remedy.

This remedy is made from a whole onion, sugar, and hot water. The essence of the onion is extracted to make the cough syrup. Very easy to make, and simple, good syrup.

Since I have had this symptom already for ten days, I didn't expect too much. A quick treatment in the beginning is the best remedy for a cold. But still this remedy reliefs me quite well.

My sons also got infected. Yesterday my first son was coughing hard, and I gave him a teaspoon of the syrup. Only one spoonful of syrup stopped him coughing for several hours, and he didn't suffer from cough much. Amazing effect.


Another thing that relieved me was "amazake." Japanese sweet drink made from sake lees. It is not very tasty drink, but is nice to drink when I miss my country.

The sake lees is not the item I can buy anywhere in England. Only Japanese grocery shops deal with it. And the Japanese grocery shops are only in London, not in where I live. So I asked my friend to buy one for me, when she goes to one of the shops.

I received this sake lees from her, exactly when I was so much suffering from the infection.

I think the "amazake" warmed both my physical body and my soul.





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Advent garden

We had an Advent garden at our school yesterday.
This is a festival for little children at Steiner School, and it was the first Advent garden for my sons.

A spiral shaped with branches and leaves was in the centre of the school hall. In the centre of the spiral was a light of a candle.

Each child was lead by a teacher to enter the spiral, and then the child walks along the spiral towards the light without the teacher. He/she lights his/her candle in the centre of the spiral, and walks and brings back the light to the world..


Older children are more aware of people watching them and the events, but for little children, the spiral was a magical world. As soon as the child enters the spiral, it is like in the middle of woods. He/she has to walk alone in the darkness. This is an adventure for little ones. After the child reaches at the candle in the centre and lights his/her candle, the child has a task to bring the light back to the world. The child walks back the path they just came as he/she carefully holds the candle in his/her hands. He/she places the candle by the pathway of the spiral.

The spiral was dark, but the spiral path was lit with candle lights after the children walked through the path. In the spiral, there are the caldles left as many as the number of the children walked in the spiral. There, it is not dark any more...

In this dark season, the children bring the light to the world.

It is amazingly magical. Little children are truly absorbed into the world with their pure souls.......They were not playing the roles. They were actually bringing the light to the world to light up this darkness.

And of course, it is wonderful to see our own sons purely absorbed in the world...


Children are beautiful.
Our world is beautiful.

I appreciate that we and our children can experience the beauty of this world.





This is the candle brought back from the festival. The candle is set on a handmade candle holder, which is made of an apple, a toothpick, and a golden star.



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what if I was in Japan?

Sometimes I wonder what if I was in Japan.


Now I have a difficulty finding a job because of my qualification. In Japan, I had a good education, and had a degree from a university. When I apply for a job in Japan, they would have no doubt on my ability that is estimated from my education history.

But I have no qualification at all here.


Many English people know that the education in Japan is more advanced than that in England, though they don't take the Japanese diploma as a useful qualification.

Probably it is too much trouble to compare the Japanese qualification to English ones. I can easily guess that it is easier for them to hire English person with equivalent qualification.


When I faced this difficulty in England, the idea of getting a job in Japan popped up in my mind.


What if I was in Japan?
Could I get a job more easily?



Of course ... the answer is "NO."


The society in Japanese local area is closed to aged woman. I am in the late thirties. People would not give me much interesting job even though I am a well educated person.


The age verier is not so hard here in European countries. So if I study something and get a qualification, I will have more opportunities to get a better job at my middle ages.


Also quitting teaching position and starting something completely new must be very very difficult in Japan. Of course it is not easy in England as well. But the path for the new career is not closed. People support the idea of doing something new positively and they even encourage it.


So I think I have more opportunities here than in Japan.


It is not very easy living in a foreign country.
Surely I have to have more difficulties here that I wouldn't need to have in Japan.
On the other hand, I can see more interesting things and have different experiences that I could never have in Japan.

I appreciate the various chances I get by living outside of my country Japan.
I am enjoying both difficulties and joyable events very much.



My life must be quite intense.
But I like my life having such troubles that can make my life even more interesting and fun!



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job hunting

I have been looking for a job these days.

I used to be a teacher, teaching mathematics to English kids at a Steiner School. I am a trained Steiner School teacher, also I am qualified as a high school / middle school mathematics teacher.

Early this year, I have decided to stop teaching to change my career path. For the change, I need to study seriously for many years, and I realized the teaching job is too interesting to play two roles at the same time. When I teach main lessons, all my time and energy are spent for thinking/planning and preparation. It is actually 24-hour job that needs full power commitment. Studying needs constant work, and the energy consuming job as a teacher doesn't fit to my life.

Ideal scenario is getting easy-going part time job. Something I can work ONLY the core time, and I don't have to think about the job at home at all.

I have two little sons who go to the school, nursery and kindergarten, every day. The school is only for morning and they are still too little to stay at school all day. That limits me finding a suitable job ....


Also problem is on myself as well. Since I was educated in Japan, and I have not gotten a degree in England. I am not really qualified person in this country.

Qualification and experience are the first information that makes the candidates to proceed to the job interview.

Thinking about my past career, I devoted most of my career for education. So almost no experience for other jobs. ...Only two years ICT engineer experience can be a bit strength, though.


The current situation is making my job hunting process so hard....


I got one weekend job starting next April, but I want to have something else for weekdays.


So...job hunting will not end anytime soon............I guess.




But this is a part of my life experience.
It is also something enjoyable......let's think positively. :D


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lunch for school kids

Our school doesn't have neither school lunch nor cafeteria. So school kids need to bring their packed lunch + snacks every day.

My children are not old enough to stay at school after lunch, so I don't need to pack lunch for them. But my boarding girl, a German girl from Sweden, needs it.

So my days start from cooking and packing lunch for her every day.

The ordinary English kids lunch are awfully simple, such as bread with jam and potato crisps. If they have some raw vegetables, it is quite NICE and healthy lunch for them.

My boarding girl told me the fact that many kids eat "crisp sandwiches." Can you imagine what they are? Crisps are deep fried potato crisps, in American English they are called "potato chips." The junk food from bags. They put the crisps on a piece of bread, then crush them and place another piece of bread on top of it. That is so-called "crisp sandwiches."

Sounds awful, doesn't it?



As a healthy, and organic food conscious mother, I can not offer such a junky food for my boarding girl.

I don't think the packed lunch for her has such a variety as typical Japanese lunch. But I cook everything from scratch using healthy ingredients.

This is today's lunch.



I was very happy this morning, because I received the vegetable cutter from my mother in Japan. I asked her to send some of hers, since things like vegetable cutter are impossible to find in this country.

Cutting vegetables into flowery shape is only simple decoration. But this little thing is a kind of warm consideration which is typical Japanese manner.

Also it is not just for her.
I myself enjoyed making the flowers. :D


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Exhibition

We had an open house exhibiting my father-in-law's, mother-in-law's and my husband's arts. It started on Friday evening, and ended on Sunday. Saturday was the busiest day when many people were in the house all day. We had several guests on Monday even after the exhibition was over, and sold some jewellery, sculptures, and Christmas tree ornaments. Thanks a lot. We appreciate your visits and interests to the art works. :D

It was a celebration for my husband's 40th birthday and at the same time, the 40th anniversary for my in-laws' career as goldsmiths.

Let me show you some pictures of their works. These are only a few out of many, but you would see their taste, at least.









Today both left for Germany, went back home.

They had a good time in England, and decided to come back next year to have another show here.


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burn out

These days are again crazy.
I knew this November would be very busy. But now I am in the middle of the craziness.

Soon after finishing the exam, My mother-in-law came from Germany. Two days later my father-in-law arrived. They have been divorced for thirty five years, and have not seen each other for many years. I guess all of us involved in this situation have something uncomfortable feeling..... But it is going all right so far. They chat together, and are preparing for the exhibition together without arguing.

Celebrating their forty-year career as jewelry artists and my husband's fortieth birthday, we will have an exhibition to show their works on this weekend, starting from Friday evening. My father-in-law, mother-in-law and my husband's arts are now gathered here at my house, getting ready to be shown to people.


So I have loads of things to do, helping preparation, cooking nice foods for seven people three times a day, and of course keeping the house tidy so that our guests can be happy and comfortable...


On top of it, our school will have an Advent Fayre on the same day when we have the exhibition. As stuff of the school, of course we need to help running the fayre. But this year we need to play a role as school parents as well, since our sons started going to the school from this September.

I didn't know being a parent is such a demanding job.
I need to donate vegetables, homemade cookies, handmade little toys and decorations for the stall. It is ok to donate veggies. But I have been too busy to bake cookies and making toys myself these days......

But I made an attempt today, at least.
Driving around and finishing errands in hurry in the morning, then I came home just before my sons' school ends. I quickly prepared the lunch for six people, and ran to the school to fetch my boys. Finishing the lunch and clearing up the dishes, then I made the cookie dough. These cookies are for the fayre, and the recipe was given and I had to follow the recipe. The cookies on the recipe was British cookie recipe that the ingredients contain "LYE golden syrup", which is typical BRITISH syrup. I am not very interested in English food, so this was the first time to make the cookies.

I measured all the ingredients and followed the instruction PERFECTLY. But the dough was too soft to spread, so I put the dough into the freezer.

I had to do this between lunch and my doctor appointment.
It was such a hurry.

After two hours set in the freezer, the dough was still too soft. Then I just gave up. I had to cook again for the supper by then, and after supper I attended jewelry making workshop. Just no time for baking...

I phoned one of my friends, and asked her to bake twice as much as she needs to make. So she will make cookies for me too. She is a great cook, and she has made same cookies before, so she would not have any problems at all. She was very happy to help me, since she knows I am super busy this week.



So, I guess the frozen dough will be cut into small pieces and will be icebox cookies. That would be tasty, but it would not be what I was asked to bake. They want something decorative with pretty shapes... So I will eat them at home with my family. hahaha. :D


Ok, I should stop writing this.
My study time disappeared, and I am frustrated for not being able to study....

But it is ok.
Life is not always calm and stable.

.......I must say my life is frequently crazy....




Hopefully I can have some more time for my study next week....


Now I shutdown the computer, and read at least a few pages of my textbook before I go to bed.












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jumble sale

I went to a jumble sale at the school today. It was a fund raising event for class 11 trip.

I rarely go to second hand shops or charity shops, but I went there for our pupils.

The school hall was filled with all kinds of used stuff, used clothes, shoes, books, and bric-a-bracs. There were crowds of people in front of the piles of clothes.

That reminded me the bargain sales or wagon sales in Japan. So many ladies fighting for their targets. I could have never joined there. I didn't think it's worth to fight for just MATERIALS. Today I felt just same as before, and I couldn't go closer to the clothes.

But there is one thing I can enjoy looking at.

That is "books".


Often I discover quite interesting books at this kind of stalls. I feel it is a kind of destiny to come across these books. There are not so many books in the stall as much as proper book shops, and I don't look around the stall so carefully. But still I find the books that I just need at that time.

The books I got today are as follows;


Old magazines about Steiner education.




English novels. The book called "Just so Stories" by Rudyard Kipling is my friend recommendation.




One is a book about acupressure, the other is about Ayurveda.
Just recently "Ayurveda" came up as a topic in the conversation with my friends. One of my friends asked me what it was. I knew very little about it, so I could not explain about it much. I had some interests in Ayurveda before, but I have never taken it seriously to read or study it. And today, what I found in the stall was this book. This little book gives me very basic idea and concepts of Ayurveda, without much deep philosophy explained. But it is good enough as a starter, I guess. Maybe this book is an invitation for me to the world of Ayurveda.




And ... this is a cookery book of vegetarian food. I am not a vegetarian but I want to eat more vegetables. So I am trying to learn more and more vege dish recipes. When I search or learn from Japanese vege cook, I found many of the dishes are called "like" meat, such as "deep fried soy meat dumplings like fried chicken." They often make vege dishes to make fake meat or fish. I don't like this idea. I prefer to call it, for example "deep fried soy dumpling" , simple and straightforward naming. They are not FAKE meat, they are vegetables. Calling them in their real names is the way to respect them. ...Maybe I am too critical about it. :D

Anyway, this book is not about the fake meat dishes. This book contains 200 European recipes that are simply vegetarian dishes. Many of them are traditional, not too creative. But they look simply delicious.


Those books above and one more for my sons cost 1.40 pounds, which is about 200 yen total. It was a great buy!



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crazy man

I tell you..., my husband is crazy and workaholic.

He is a Steiner school teacher. Generally steiner school teachers are low pay and much busier than general school teachers. He has full time table which is the most busiest timetable at the school, that means he is busier than other busy steiner teachers. On top of it, he leads a building project, leading the school to build new buildings and make radical change to the school. This work came to him because he is not just a teacher but a trained architect.

As a project manager, his work can be a full time work... Remember..? Full time project manager's work on top of full time super busy teaching.

He loves the school. He is into the project. He spend all his time to the project. He is definitely overworked, and often he fell ill from the overwork.

...He is not paid for the project work at all, though.


This week he has just decided to fly to Germany to visit Schloss Hamborn Waldorf School which is our partner school. And there, the winter fair will be held on Saturday. It is a great opportunity for the project to present our master plan that was completed just this month.

So...he asked the arrangement to the teacher at Schloss Hamborn and flew this evening after school.

He will stay in Germany for two days, and will come back just before midnight on Sunday.

Spend his all weekend for the trip..., it is usual for him to work through weekends, but trip causes me quite trouble too....... I had to run and run and run all day today for him.



He was ill last week having kidney stones. Now he is flying to Germany...

I am really worried about him.

It is wonderful that he has such an interesting work that he can put his soul so much into it. If his work is not that interesting for him, he wouldn't work so hard but on the other hand, he would be bored. The interesting work is exciting and gives him energy. But he forgets how much he is tired as he put all his energy into it. When he gets ill, he finally realize he worked more than he can handle.

I want him to do interesting thing that he can beam and shine in his work.
I believe that is the way he can be happy.
And his happiness is my happiness as well.
But I don't want to see him exhausted all the time.
I want him to be healthy. I want him to smile and beam with his exciting work.
Now the exciting work exhausts him and sucks his energy, falls him into ill.

It is not right.

But it is very difficult for him to change his way of working. It is big part of his personality.....


ummmmmm.




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After physics...

I have been studying for the university entry. I have to go through all the exams that other young students do. If I make an entry as an international student, I would not need this exam preparations. But the fee would be 20000 pounds (4000000 yen)a year as an international student whereas UK students pay only 3000 pounds (600000 yen). Who can afford 20000 pounds a year...?? At least, not me...

So I can not be too lazy even though I am finished with physics exam....

Look at the following list. This is what I am planning to do in the next half year..

1. Chemistry GCSE
2. Biology GCSE
3. Mathematics GCSE
4. Additional Mathematics GCSE (Advanced mathematics)
5. Information and Communication Technology GCSE
6. First language Japanese GCSE
7. English as a second language GCSE

These exams will come all in May/June 2009.
The GCSE requirements are only five subjects (physics, biology, chemistry, mathematics and English), but I decided to take as many as other UK students normally take. The course is very competitive, so the better grades I get, the more possibility to be a successful candidate. So I picked the subjects No.4 - 7 so that I can easily get good grades without much study. :D Mathematics is my special, it is a piece of cake. And Japanese exam would be much easier than studying other subjects. ICT won't be a problem, either. For I used to be a computer programmer, I know the computer systems as much as they expect me to know for the exam.

English is the most difficult one. I need English exam for native speakers, but I decided to take this easier one first to gain confident before I take "first language English."

This is the plan up to May/June 2009.



Sounds crazy?

Not too bad. I can do this because I have a goal to achieve.
I actually enjoy studying a lot.

I think studying something else in English is the best way to improve English, too.


By the way, isn't it funny that I can take "first language Japanese" (KOKUGO) exam in England to get into a university in England?? The exam subjects variety is amazingly wide in this country.


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Exam is over

I am done with the GCSE physics exams.
The physics exam contains three tests, and I am finished with the last one this morning!

Done! Yeah!!

I like physics, but I am not going to study A-level physics, so I am done with physics now. Now I can move on to other subjects.

I am taking GCSEs at our school where I taught before.
Now the pupils I used to teach know that I am taking the exams just like they are.
When I went to the exam room this morning, several pupils saw me and smiled at me saying "good luck!". Even some teenage boys, who usually don't say even "hello" to me, cheered me up!

Before I took exams, I felt a bit embarrassment of taking GCSEs. GCSEs are for 15, 16-year-old pupils normally, and the academic levels are basic. Being a teacher of that age group myself, I was embarrassed to take the same exams which my pupils are working for. I know it is nonsense, but I felt like that because of my silly pride.

But obviously, our school kids are impressed with the fact I am studying and making an effort towards the exams.

One of the most important ways to educate children is to reveal myself in front of children as an individual, who is developing, and making an effort towards goals as I struggle and overcome difficulties. Because children learn not from what they are told to do but from the real human doing, acting, willing, and putting souls into something.


I stopped teaching, so I am not a teacher here any longer. But I hope I can encourage them as a human who is trying to achieve something.



Anyway....., I am done for now!
cheers!!!


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smile

I had been badly frustrated for the last seven months. My son's toilet training, my workaholic husband's health issue, financial issue and my study were the main causes.

I am usually a positive person who can easily turn my negative thoughts to positive ones using the Rudolf Steiner's positivity exercise or other meditative exercises. They are good methods that work for many people.

But I have gotten a feeling that changing the negativity to the positivity by thinking process does not solve the problem fundamentally. Once the negative thought appears in my mind, it affects me and people around me. As long as I have negative thoughts coming up even just for a moment, that brings negative feeling to me. It is a spontaneous response. I think the best solution is to avoid the negative thought coming up to my mind at all.

It is very difficult to control our thoughts by our THINKING.

But it is not too difficult to control it by changing our feeling life.

When you are happy, many things appear as happiness, happier than usual. You can accept more stress with broader mind and deal with them without being stressed-out.

When you are frustrated already, you have less tolerance for the stress. You tend to think more negatively at the under-stressed situation.

So it is important not having any negative thought if you want to be happy from the bottom of your heart. Happy feeling can avoid negative thoughts coming up to us.




I discovered one easy and effective method to be happy.

It is fairly simple.


Just smile.

I smile to myself in front of a mirror, looking at myself, imagining the most beautiful myself, beaming at something exciting, filled with satisfaction and feel the love for others and myself.
Just for a few minutes.

When I smile, even when I don't really feel like smiling, something warm spread in my chest. I feel the warmth and the warmth brings me joyous feeling. I am sure that the smiling has some physical effects that can be proved scientifically.

Feel the joy and happiness brought by my smiling. It has already changed my feeling. The smiling I made before the mirror might have been fake, but the positive feeling popped up inside is REAL. Feel it, and try to keep it. If you had to overcome stress, remind yourself to smile.

With the feeling of happiness, I can deal with stressful situation better because I carry the happy feeling inside of myself.

You don't need to think WHY so seriously.
Just smile. Just do it.
I am sure it will help to bring you happiness.



That is how I have been very happy recently.





......Have you noticed with my change...., my dear?



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